Friday, June 26, 2015

Five Reasons Why You Should Not Beat Your Girlfriend Or Wife


1. It makes her less attractive.
If you’re like most men, you’re with your girl
because you think she’s hot . Uppercuts, drop
kicks and karate chops leave behind cuts,
welts and the occasional broken bone. Unless
you find black eyes and smashed teeth sexy,
you’ll have difficulty getting an Attention after
you’ve given your girl a good working over.
Hypothetical reversal: If you have a spare
phone book, you can place it over her stomach
so your fists don’t leave any marks. But who
has a phone book these days?
2. It keeps her from performing her
womanly duties.
In order for your girl to cook, clean and please
you sexually , she needs to be in top physical
condition. If you injure her while slapping her
around, she won’t be able to serve you as
well. For example, it’s difficult for a girl to
make you a sandwich when her arm is in a
sling, or for her to go down on you with a
broken jaw. By sending her to the hospital
every time she folds your underwear the
wrong way, you make it more difficult for her
to get it right in the future.
Hypothetical reversal: If you have a large joystick,
dislocating your girl’s jaw might lead to a
more pleasurable Mouth Gig.
3. It’s time-consuming.
Because men are physically stronger on
average than women, virtually every man has
the ability to beat the stuffing out of his girl if
he wants. Even still, disciplining a girl
takes effort. Depending on how much your girl
has irritated you, you may have to spend hours
chasing her around the house with a belt.
That’s time you could be using to do
something more productive, like playing video
games or alphabetizing your Joni Mitchell
albums.
Hypothetical reversal: Your life is so dull that
smacking your girl around is the highlight of
your day.
4. You can hurt yourself while beating
her.
While physically assaulting a girl is something
almost every man can do, you run the risk of
injuring yourself in the process. She may be a
frail little female, but her bones are still hard
and her nails are still sharp. You also might
accidentally get some of her blood on your
nice clothes.
Hypothetical reversal: Beat your girlfriend in the
Unclad.
5. You might go to prison.
If you’re caught beating your girl, you can be
arrested and thrown in prison for years. This
will seriously impede your ability to make
money, drink quality craft brews, and hook up
with sluts. Additionally, other prisoners might
decide to relieve their sexual tension by using
your rectum as a Fleshlight. Many states have
“must-arrest” laws when it comes to domestic
violence calls, meaning that it’s almost certain
that you will be hauled away.
Hypothetical reversal: If your girl loves you
enough, she might drop the charges.
As much as some girls really deserve a slap
across the face, giving her a shiner is not a
good idea. I hope this article helped explain
why inflicting short-term pain on your girl may
result in long-term pain for you . So long as you
don’t confuse punching and kicking with
spanking your girlfriend to discipline her and
show her her place, you’ll be fine.
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